Coming Back Toward The Light {Happy Solstice}

Last night was incredible. There was a full lunar eclipse along with the timing of the winter solstice. A combination that has not occurred for 456 years. I find the solstices very significant in my life. The promise that the cycles of the sun will always remain unchanging (we hope), providing us with life and possibility here on Earth is something that deserves respect and honor. The original people knew this, it is a basic part of our humanity to connect to the Earth and to the celestial cycles. Our lives depend on it whether we acknowledge it or not.

This is the images from the December 21, 2010 lunar eclipse

Acknowledgement of the solstice can be as simple as lighting a candle. Or, you can go as far as to getting married on it like my husband and I did on Summer Solstice, 2008. This year it was a longer process. I was preparing for this without even knowing that was what I was doing. It started with wanting to put my goals and dreams into a vision. I made a Dream Board which ended up evolving into a reflection of who I was and who I am becoming. It included things that inspire me to further nourish the full potential within me. From there I decided that it was time to reorganize my life, my space. I am leaving for Florida (any minute, really) and with my goals of hitting the ground running when I get back I wanted to be able to come home to a clean slate. I have been going through closets, papers, bedrooms EVERYTHING and clearing my space. It feels incredible.

Yesterday I realized that all of the things I was doing were perfect for this time of year and completely coincide with the sorts of things one would do for a Solstice. So, I spent the day yesterday putting all of these efforts into an intention and finished the job. I tied up the remaining loose ends, cleared out the dust, the cobwebs and dirt that remained and then smudged my house with Sage with my daughter. We danced while we did this and it was a wonderful memory I'm sure that we will forever share. Throughout the night I progressively lit 21 white candles. Once all of this was done it was midnight. I sat down and cleared my mind and connected to my inner self by drawing a picture and writing out my goals and intentions for 2011 followed by a guided meditation, letting go of the things that only hold me back. Realizing my potential and accepting responsibility for the negative things in my life. I am in control - if anything is holding me back I only have myself to blame.

A Goddess Guidance reading always seems in order at times such as these, so it was inevitable that I would do a reading and see what the cards had to say to me for the year to come. They never disappoint. Tarot is a wonderful way to communicate with the energy that is naturally surrounding each and every one of us. Goddesses are a beautiful way to put names and images to individual energies helping us to understand them better. Cards are ever changing. None can predict the future as much as they show you a portrait of where you are headed on the current life path you are on. The reason we use cards is to see that and use it as a tool to decide whether or not our current life path is productive for us or not. We can always change the outcome of any reading with each step we take in our lives. Here is what the cards had to say to me:

Past Card

Artemis: Guardian

 "You and your loved ones are safe and spiritually protected."

"Like me, you have a sacred mission to spread love and light. Yet, this isn't a position that comes from tension or worry. Instead, the gentle essence of a joyful heart and lighthearted laughter sets your power into motion. Why would there be any tension in your mind or system unless you believed the you were somehow unsafe? And how could you be unsafe when you've called upon spiritual warriors to watch over you? Your prayers have activated the flawless protection of Heaven. So, ease your mind of all cares and concerns, and concentrate instead upon your holy mission."

Various meanings: The angels are watching over you and your family ~ Your future is safe and secure ~ All your needs are being met and always will be ~ The worst is now behind you.

To me this means so much. As a person who is an abandonment and abuse survivor my life has been surrounded with survival. Because of this I am always ready for a fight, I am defensive and tend to take things that are personal to the limit and feel that I must be understood and that I must be justified. I believe this is because I have dealt with injustice since I was born and I simply will not tolerate it any further. I have to realize though, that the things that were ingrained into my existence do not have to be a part of me any longer. I can choose to let it go - and I can choose to accept that things CAN be "OK". I don't have to create a problem where there is none. Simply by recognizing that I make things harder on myself can help me to stop the behavior. I need to accept that the worst IS behind me. It's quite likely that I have paid my dues in full through the suffering of my past and that now my life can be full of joy and abundance. It's not going to happen though until I surrender to the idea that everything will be OK, and that it can even be good.

"Present Card"

Sekhmet: Be Strong

"You are stronger than you think you are, and your strength assures a happy outcome."

"See yourself as strong and victorious. Don't complain about anything. Don't blame anyone or any condition. You're the embodiment of strength, not victimhood. As you rise above the old tendencies and see yourself in the new light of beautiful feminine strength, your life will automatically shift in miraculous ways. You'll attract new opportunities, forms of abundance, and relationships to help you manifest your highest potential. Being strong means seeing yourself in the most favorable light you can imagine. Be real, allow yourself to feel genuine emotions, but most of all, be strong."

Various meanings: Don't underestimate yourself ~ Don't yield to pressure or temptation ~ Avoid complaining or indulging in negative thinking ~ Engage in weight training exercise to make your body stronger

Some of you know about my troubles with the cookies. Without going into it - I will say that I am not happy with my reactions to it. It really doesn't matter how "right" or "valid" I am in my feelings pertaining to this situation, what does matter is that I let it get the best of me. I have allowed many things do this to me. I am so passionate about things that when I get caught up in something that makes me feel angry or unjust I tend to let it ruin my whole day(s). I'm harder to be around and it sometimes gets so bad I can't even stand to be around myself. Why do I allow these things to rob me of my strength and energy? I can't be productive AT ALL if I can not control this. I have to turn my attention away from the things I can not control and instead focus my energy on myself and my family. Too believe that the strength that I have within me is stronger that the negative things I will encounter along the way. 

Future Card

Ishtar: Boundries

"Love yourself enough to say no to others demands on your time and energy."

A sincere desire to give of service is wonderful. However, there's a distinction between giving of yourself and giving up yourself. If you feel tired, guilty, or resentful while helping others, then you're not truly helping them are you? You're injecting poisonous energies into a relationship, and then no one benefits. Step back and reassess the situation. As you respect your own boundaries, others will begin to recognize and respect them within you, and within themselves as well. Now that's a healthy behavior to teach others!

Various Meanings: You're giving too much ~ Become more assertive ~ Don't do things out of guilt or obligation

This is totally a warning card. I put up a post on my Crowning Lotus Doula website where I announced that I have decided to become a "doula for donation". Basically I am only accepting donations for my doula services with the exception of a $100.00 non-refundable deposit to reserve me as their doula and to also ensure that I do not overextend myself or get taken advantage of. I believe this can be rewarding or it could be a strain. I have always been extremely giving of myself. There have been many times that I have gotten myself into uncomfortable situations or involved myself with energy sucking people because of my desire to fix or help others. I have in the past realized how important boundaries are and can see that the current situation I have put myself into has the potential to go wrong. I am aware of this though, and this card is helping me to keep that focus at the forefront as I try this new endeavor. 

Overall message card

Green Tara - Start Delegating

"Ask others (including me) to help you, instead of trying to do everything by yourself."

When you feel resentment in your heart because you're carrying more than your share of the load, you're doing no favors for anyone, including yourself. You need to ask for help to ensure that you have private time for contemplation and rest. One of the reasons why I'm able to sit so peacefully is that I know the secret of true productivity. It doesn't come through struggle or strife. Rather, it comes from a clear and focused mind that's unchallenged by indecisiveness. You see, making decisions is the shortest route to triumphant passages. Once you make up your mind, the rest follows quite naturally. I therefore urge you to sit quietly and follow the footsteps of your mind. Be open to your hearts meanderings. They will quietly lead you to make your most important decisions, and the rest will fall into place.

Various meanings: Don't try to be a super woman ~ Give your children chores ~ Ask your partner for help ~ Accept assistance as it is offered to you ~ Release guilt or belief that it's weak to ask for help ~ Be a team player

The Green Tara is the Goddess that I have tattooed on my right arm. Her compassion and strength along with her ability to remain peaceful and focused are something I draw much strength from. It does not surprise me that she would show up as my overall message card as she is always guiding me. She knows how hard it is for me to ask for help, but she also knows that for the project I have coming up it is going to depend solely on my asking others to join me in partnership and support. This isn't something I have been good at in the past, but I am ready to face it. And will the amazing support system that I have I have no doubts that it will never cease to amaze me.

Bonus Card

 Aine - Leap Of Faith

"Take a risk, and put your heart's true desire into action!"

Procrastinating about your dreams wont make them go away. Neither will it make them happen. Indecision is the death of the soul's burning passion to improve, grow, and learn. Don't worry about making a wrong decision. Instead, worry about making no decision at all! Then take time to pray, meditate, investigate, research, go on nature walks....and make your decision.

Once made, the universal energies will immediately support your decision, and doors will successively open as if by magic. The magic, you see, is that you've set your mind to accomplish something. And this intention is what sets you on your magical journey. Trust that the universe will support you in all ways. Trust that your intention is clear and right for you. And then take a leap of faith and jump fully and squarely into the midst of putting your dreams into action. Don't hesitate or delay a moment longer!

Various Meanings: Your dream will come true ~ Your chosen path is the right one for you ~ Heaven supports you fully on your mission ~ Your material needs will be taken care of ~ Take action steps toward the realization of your dream ~ Break your dream into achievable baby steps so that it's easier to start and keep going.

This is exactly why I always throw one more card out there...kind of like a "oh, one more thing." As I sit here and type this I am trying to hurry because I am leaving for Florida - like...now. While I am there I have plans of getting back to nature and spending a lot of quality time not only with my family, but also with myself. Truly get this years goals into focus and break them down so that when I come home I am ready to attack! This is the PERFECT card to assure me that I am doing all the right things right now.

What are you going to do to put your 
dreams into action this year? 
What do you think holds you back and 
what are you going to do to stop it?

HAPPY SOLSTICE!