And I Call Myself A Wombman
by Nekhena Evans, Sacred Woman Institute
How can I become a "wombman"
when I don't know my womb?
I have never had a conversation with my womb
so how can I consider myself a Wombman?
I have been with you....grown with you,
been through Rites of Passage with you
from childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, and yet...
I have never had a conversation with you.
You have been a victim. A consequence to an action.
A symptom of a disease.
An effect of my action.
I have never spoken with you. Consulted with you.
Inquired of you. Cared for you.
Or understood you.
And I call myself a grown Wombman.
Where have I grown? How could I have grown without talking to you?
Without acknowledging your presence and your works?
And I call myself a Wombman.
I have put you through dozens of men.....
alien spirits/beings/entities...of all dimensions,
from all places and stations.
I have created and destroyed babies through you.
I have fed you all kinds of poisons, thereby creating diseases -
fibroids, tumors, cysts, and the like.
I have sexually abused you, thereby creating sexually transmitted diseases....
infections of all types, itching.....burning....hurting....PAIN!
I have used you for my own purposes....
money, favors, alleged self-esteem, beauty, clothing, food.
I have allowed men to probe you,
doctors to drug you, while I held you down.
If I had known someone who had done all these things
I would call them the names I despise most -
MURDERER, THIEF, LIAR, BETRAYER, DEMON.
Yes, I would....
And I call myself a Wombman.
Time to release. RELEASE, RELEASE.
FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME.
I am complete.
I will be responsible for you, for myself....for my womb.
We are in relationship together.
We have been from the very, very beginning.
I will commune and communicate with you.
I will listen to you.
I will wash, cleanse and purify you.
I will pay attention to your patterns, your moods, your signs and wonders.
I will....I will....I will....
become the Wombman that you made me from the very beginning.
My womb is a sacred temple, but no one ever told me that. Instead I was made to believe that I was somehow dirty - or less than man - because of my womb. I was made to believe I had less power, less rights, less ability to care for myself. My womb has been through many trespasses, first unwanted as a child from strangers - and later upon myself. My life has been spent trying to make sense of the pain and suffering I have survived. But, I have been come to believe that the power to heal has always resided within me. Through relationship with the self - and this sacred temple from which ALL life emerges. Here is where I have found my peace.
We inherit the wounds and baggage of our ancestors through our DNA and on a cellular level. When you sit back and think about the abuse to the wombs of our ancestors down the line of time - you begin to become overwhelmed. We begin to realize that the womb - the very place that without we would not exist - is so much more than just an organ. It is our first home. It is also where we harbor emotions, past, present and future lives, and our connection to spirit and self. It should be treated with sacred respect, yet, our wombs take the brunt of most abuse that the women on this planet encounter. This abuse manifests itself in diseases in the body and specifically, your womb. Endometriosis - a disease many women I know, including myself, suffer from. This is a disease where scar tissue forms outside of the womb. Scar tissue is a symbol - a manifestation. Heavy bleeding, Cycts, HPV, etc....our wombs are crying out for help and the time has come to listen. We need to cleanse and heal our wombs. In turn we will heal the wombs of our ancestors and most importantly - our daughters.
Through my personal journey of growth, and specifically my Level 2 Reiki Attunement, I have been given a vision. A vision that assures me that I have been brought into this life to help heal the wombs of the daughters of our Mother Earth and to assist in the ushering in of the time of the Divine Feminine. It is no accident that I have always fought for what I believed in with such might, that I have taken a natural interest in healing knowledge through the age old wisdom of the elements nor that I have evolved into a bEARTH Doula and Lactivist. I have already been doing the work of healing the wombs of my sisters - and myself. For the very first time I have to say I am beginning to feel truly free of the pain and the weight that I have carried around with me about my mother, my trespassers and even the things I have done to hurt myself (and others). There simply isn't room for it anymore.
I am starting a WOMBman Healing Circle and I encourage healers and women everywhere who have heard the call to look into doing the same. We've got to get together and truly heal ourselves, our sisters, our daughters. Now is the time.